An attractively absurd idea

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Fifth Instar
As much as I enjoy mocking unintelligent extermination companies, it's really just a defensive weapon for the poor misunderstood spiders/roaches and not much else. I was having trouble sleeping one night and started thinking about random stuff:

How to wear a roach-hat

I am often asked about how I managed to get a 6-inch Periplaneta to sit perpetually on my head.

In all honesty, there isn't much to it. One of those film companies that churns out bad productions like ATTACK OF THE MEGAROACH! was shutting down, and they were getting rid of all the stuff. Somehow, their large snake got picked up by a prestigious institution as a specimen for "education and outreach" (read: was sent to a luxury snake hotel). Of course, those sorts of fancy institutions were still vertebrate supremacists, and the megaroach would've been dumped into the garbage can (not-alive) if I hadn't intervened. Sometimes I envy the reptile a lot. 

Anyways, the insect was a laboratory animal and thus unlikely to have been running around in the sewer, so I dragged it home in a puffy white bag.

Now, I had been an insect enthusiast for years, and I was pretty sure what I was dealing with. Most of the typical Periplaneta spp. (americana, australasiae, etc.) can barely survive in clean houses due to their desiccation intolerance, and this one was no exception. I don't know how such a large specimen manages to exist, given that mega-insects are supposed to be biologically impossible, but it doesn't matter too much. The studio also had a rather sickly-looking 3-ft long ant alate, but the giant Periplaneta seems healthy enough. All I had to do was get a large escape-proofed aquarium, add some hides, and ensure that proper humidity/food was available, basically.

Of course, things often don't turn out as planned, and I soon noticed my new captive's insistence on sitting on my head during the day. No sensible insect would do such a thing under normal circumstances, but they probably conditioned it a bit too much with food-signaling pheromones. It was probably easier to film the scene where the actor pretends to get his brain eaten, I guess.

Still, being able to walk around all day with a roach-hat is quite pleasant. Surprisingly, I have been able to educate several roach haters with it. 

 
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no pictures

this is just a ridiculous idea I thought up; I doubt any real Periplaneta reaches half a foot long

 
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